I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I still have a little drunk in my system
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
