omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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