am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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