if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize