He kissed a someone with a penis
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
