i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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