I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
