You work out of a Hotel?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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