I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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