Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
