cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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