I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
