Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
