I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
