I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he thought i was a dude.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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