I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
