ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Randomize
