just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
