dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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