She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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