who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
