all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
