addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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