I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
