I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
