Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
