i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
