why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So here I am, sexting at work.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
