too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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