I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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