I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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