I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Randomize
