I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
