i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
