Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
