once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize