We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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