Whod you bang
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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