Rock
Scissors
Fuck
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize