this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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