He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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