I haven't been this sober since birth.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
