My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
you inspire me to be a worse person
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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