6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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