Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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