I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
