Me. At least after what I've been through.
she smelled like a LAN party
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
