I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
