VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
