you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
