This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
