but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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