you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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