he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We need to get me chipped asap
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
