Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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