Where is the hickey?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
