the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
