are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
