i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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