America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
did you just send me my own nude
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
