Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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