Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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